Many P4–P6 children have been told to 'use more 修辞手法', so they add a 比喻 or 拟人 to every paragraph — often the same stale ones. A device only helps when it makes the reader see, hear or feel something that plain words did not. This post gives a three-question routine for choosing and checking 比喻, 拟人 and 排比, with original examples and a 10-minute practice.
First, know what each device needs
| Device | What it needs | Quick test |
|---|---|---|
| 比喻 (simile / metaphor) | A 本体 (the thing described), a 喻体 (what it is compared to) and something they genuinely share | Can you say in one phrase what the two have in common? |
| 拟人 (personification) | A non-human thing given a human action or feeling | Is the human action something the thing could 'do' in this scene? |
| 排比 (parallel lines) | Three or more phrases or sentences of similar structure and length, on one theme | Do the lines build — each adding something new? |
Question 1: What do I want the reader to feel?
Start from the feeling, not the device. If the scene is a quiet pond, the feeling is stillness; if it is a crowded canteen, it is noise and heat. Write that feeling in a plain phrase first: 「很安静」「很吵」. Now the device has a job: to show that feeling more clearly than the plain phrase does.
Question 2: Is the comparison true to what I actually saw?
Stale comparisons — 「脸红得像苹果」「星星像眼睛」 — are not wrong, but the reader has met them many times. Ask the child to look at the real thing and name one detail: the colour, sound, movement. Original example. Plain: 「池塘很安静。」 Weak: 「池塘像镜子一样。」 Better: 「池塘安静得连一片叶子落下去，都能看见水面慢慢荡开的一圈。」 The last version uses no named device, yet the reader sees it. A device is a tool, not a requirement.
Check the pair for fit: if 本体 and 喻体 share nothing the reader can picture, the 比喻 confuses rather than helps. 「他的声音像一座山」 asks the reader to guess; 「他的声音像沉沉的鼓声」 shares a quality (deep, heavy) that they can hear.
Question 3: Does the device stay in the scene?
拟人 works best when the human action fits the mood. Original example: 「风轻轻地拍着窗户，好像在问：‘还不睡吗？’」 fits a quiet night. The same line in a storm scene would feel out of place. For 排比, check that each line adds something new instead of repeating: 「我们在操场上奔跑，在树荫下谈笑，在夕阳里挥手」 moves through a day; 「我们很高兴，我们很开心，我们很快乐」 repeats one idea three times.
Three common slips to check
- Stacking: three devices in one short paragraph. Keep one good one and let plain sentences carry the rest.
- Only two lines in a 排比: add a third line with a new angle, or accept it as a plain parallel pair.
- Mismatched feeling: a cheerful comparison inside a sad moment. Reread the scene and ask whether the picture suits the mood.
A 10-minute practice
- 2 minutes: choose a short scene from a recent composition and write the feeling in a plain phrase.
- 3 minutes: write the plain sentence, then one version with a device built from a real detail the child can picture.
- 3 minutes: read both aloud; keep the version that makes the scene clearer, which may be the plain one.
- 2 minutes: copy the best sentence into a notebook with one line on why it works.
What a parent can do without reading Chinese
Ask: 「你想让读的人感觉到什么？」 and 「你为什么觉得这两样东西像？」 If the child can answer both, the device has a reason. If not, ask them to describe the thing again in plain words and try once more.
Write one scene, then check each device against the three questions before you submit it for feedback.
Try composition feedbackBuild the sentence first. Read next:
Expanding Thin Sentences →Describe with the senses. Read next:
Scene Writing (写景) →Sources
- Definitions of 比喻, 拟人 and 排比 follow common usage in standard Chinese-language references; check terms against a dictionary such as 《现代汉语词典》 or the school's materials.
- The questions and routine are the author's own tutoring practice, offered as a suggestion and not a promise of any result.
- All example sentences are original and illustrative.
- This post does not describe any exam format, mark allocation, frequency or prediction; check seab.gov.sg for official information.